sonu kumar
Posted On: 09-04-2019
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Half Girlfriend

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Thirty Five

Chanakya Hotel, Patna
Madhav continued to stare at the last page long after he had read it,
fists clenched.
‘What?’ he burst out and went silent.
He turned his gaze from the journal to me.
‘What is this, Chetan sir?’ he said.
‘Your friend’s journals, remember?’ I said.
He slammed the notebook shut, and took rapid shallow breaths. He
buried his face in his hands, ran fingers through his thick, uncombed
hair. He remained still until I touched his shoulder.
‘Are you all right?’ I said.
He looked at me in a dazed way. His face had turned an intense
shade of red.
‘She’s alive,’ he mumbled.
‘That is what it seems like,’ I said.
‘She’s alive,’ he said again. His body began to shake
uncontrollably.
‘So you see why I called you.You said she’s dead. You wanted to
throw these journals away.’
‘How could she lie? Such a big lie.. .the bitch.’
He fought back tears.
‘Madhav, you said you loved her. What kind of language is this?’
‘I... I... ’ he said and stopped, unable to finish the sentence, the
thought.
'You’re in shock.'
'She always does this. She runs away.The only way she deals with
issues is by running away,’
He broke down then, tears in his stubble.
'It took me years to get over her. I have still not healed, How could
she...?’he muttered to himself,.‘At least you found out,’ I said.
‘She didn’t want me to. She wanted to dump me again.’
'She wanted to protect herself. And you.’
'Me? How did this protect me?’
'She didn’t want to be a burden in your life.’
‘Riya could never be a burden in my life. She was my life,’
Madhav matter-of-factly.
I handed him a tissue. He crushed it in his hand instead of wiping
his eyes.
‘Aren’t you happy she’s alive?’
‘I should be, but all I feel is anger right now.’
‘I can understand.’
‘Two years. Not a single day when I didn't think of her.’
‘What are you going to do, Madhav? I said.
He ignored my question.
‘When she left, I almost needed to be treated for depression,’ he
said, mostly to himself.
‘You went through a lot.’
‘Chetan sir, does what she did seem fair to you?’
'I guess not. But life is complicated sometimes. She seemed to have
her reasons.’
‘My mother? How is it even an issue? In fact, even my mother says
Riya made rne look more alive than anyone else.’
‘Riya had a bad experience. Once bitten and all that.’
‘I’m not Rohan.’
Like always, I had become over-involved in a situation. I needed to
get home. It was Madhav Jha who had to plan what to do next.
He seemed lost in thought. I stood up to pack my bags.
‘Can I stay for some more time?’ he said.
‘Sure,’ I said, shrugging my shoulders. He went to a corner of the
room to make a phone call. I zipped up my suitcase. He returned after
a few minutes.
'I called her home in Delhi. Her mother says she has not heardfrom her in years,’ Madhav said.
‘She really has disappeared from everywhere,’ I said.
I lifted my bag from the bed atid placed it on the ground. I pulled
out the rod of my strolley.
‘I’m sorry.This is the only flight to Mumbai today.’
‘Thank you for whatever you did.'
‘I did nothing.’
‘Can I accompany you to the airport?’
*
We sat in the car in silence. He spoke after passing two traffic
signals. ‘I’ll find her,’ Madhav said in a calm but decisive voice.
I looked at him.
‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes.’
‘Where could she be?’
‘I have a hunch. She always used to mention her dream. To be a
singer in a small bar in New York.’
‘So?’
‘If she has cut herself off from the entire world, wouldn’t she
finally want to pursue her dream?’
‘How can you be sure? Where in New York? Or maybe she found
another city? Or maybe she is doing something else?’ I said.
‘So you think I shouldn’t look?’
‘I’m just being realistic. Sorry, I didn’t mean to discourage you.’
We remained silent for the rest of the drive. We reached the Lok
Nayak Jayaprakash Airport. He helped me load my bag on the trolley. I
told myself to withdraw from this situation. I couldn’t.
‘Keep in touch,’ I said, as the security guard at the entrance
checked my photo ID and ticket.
‘I will, sir.’
‘You really are going to look for her?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Even though you may never find her and end up in more pain?’He nodded.
‘I can’t quit, sir. It’s not in my genes to do so.’

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