sonu kumar
Posted On: 09-04-2019
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Three mistakes of my life

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Epilogue

The heart rate monitor beeped fast. Govind's pulse had crossed 130 beats a minute.
The nurse came running inside. 'What did you do?' she said.
'I am fine. Just chatting,' Govind said. He sat up a little on the bed.
'Don't make him exert himself.' The nurse wagged her finger at me. I nodded and she
left the room.
'And from that day, exactly three years, two months and one week ago, Ish has not
spoken to me again. Everytime I try speaking to him he snubs me.' Govind ended his
story.
I gave him a glass of water as his voice faltered.
'So what happened in the three years - to the shop, to Vidya, to Ali?' I asked.
He turned his gaze down and played with the heart rate monitor wire attached on his
chest. He swallowed a couple of times to keep his composure.
I did not prod further. If he wanted to tell me, he would. I checked the time, it was five
in the morning. I stepped outside the room. The early morning sunlight filled the
hospital corridors. I asked someone where to get tea from. He pointed me to the
canteen.
I came back with two cups. Govind refused as he wasn't allowed one after a stomach
wash. He didn't make eye contact.
'I need to find the Singapore Airlines phone number. I have to confirm my return
trip,' I said, to change his mood.
'Omi's parents,' Govind said, his gaze and voice both low. 'I can't tell you how ...
destroyed they were. For weeks, the temple had visitors from the neighbourhood and
the only prayers were for Omi, Dhiraj and Mama. At the funerals, Omi's father cried
as five thousand people descended from all over Ahmedabad. Omi's mother became ill
after not eating for a week. She had to be in the hospital for a month!
I debated whether to place my hand on Govind's hand lying pale on the covers.
'I didn't go to the shop for two months. I tried to contact Ish, but ... If I went to meet
him, he'd shut the door on my face.'
'Did you speak to Vidya?'
Govind shook his head. 'Speaking to Vidya was out of question. They put her under
house arrest. Her dad slammed her mobile phone to pieces. The TV channels moved
on after the Godhra news and the riots. But my life collapsed. I lived through all that.
I didn't pop pills then. Don't think I am not strong ... just because I am here today'
He paused. 'Three months after the incident, Omi's mother came home. She told me
to reopen the shop. Omi had told her it was his favourite place in the world. Mama
was gone, so the shop belonged to Omi's mother now. And she wanted to give it to us
to keep the memory of her son alive.'
'So did you agree?''Initially, I couldn't meet her eye. The guilt ... of letting Omi die, of my part in
Mama's death, of celebrating Mama's death. But she knew nothing of my nightmares
and I had to make a living anyway. The business was losing money. We had defaulted
many supply contracts. So I came back to the shop. Ish told Omi's mother he Would
come, too, but didn't want anything to do with me. Omi's mother wanted us both, so
there was only one solution.' 'What?'
'We split the shop into two. We put a plywood wall right in the middle. Ish took the
right side and continued the sports shop. I took the left and turned my portion into a
student stationery and textbook store. His customers often came to my store and vice
versa. We offered studies and sports at the same place but we never, not once, spoke.
Not even when India reached the finals in the 2003 World Cup. Ish watches matches
alone now, and never jumps at a six.'
'Did you ever contact Vidya again? And what happened to Ali?' I realised I was
asking more questions than offering support. But I had to know.
'They sent Vidya to Bombay, to do a PR course. That was the one positive thing for
her. They wanted her away from me, medical college or not. So Vidya did get to fly
out of her cage. She had instructions to never speak to me again. However, she loves
breaking rules and did try to contact me a couple of times from there. But this time I
never replied. I couldn't do it... I saw her brother everyday. All I wanted to do was
make as much money as possible and save it for Ali.'
'To bring him up?' I said and took a sip from my cup. Why does hospital tea taste like
Dettol?
'Ali stays in Ish's house now, so he will be brought up well anyway. But we need the
money for his wrist operation. A lot of money,' Govind said.
The nurse came to the room for the morning checkup. Govind requested he wanted to
use the toilet. The nurse agreed and took off the drips and monitor cords attached to
him. I waited anxiously for ten minutes, my mind riven with doubts about his
stability, when he returned. 'What kind of operation?' I asked.
'Ali's wrist is damaged. That means his ability to turn the bat at the right time is
gone. I saved his life, but my one second of delay cost him his gift. I told you, that
delay was the third mistake of my life.'
'You did your best. It was a moment's delay,' I reassured.
'But a conscious moment. I was selfish. Like I was with my ambition when I wanted
to make the mall, or when I was with Vidya. They are right, you know. I am not a
businessman, I am a selfish bastard,' he said and paused before speaking again.
'He needs reconstructive surgery. The trishul gouged out some of the muscle from the
wrist. So doctors have to cut up a piece of muscle from the thigh and attach it to the
wrist. Then, they have to hope that it works. It isn't a synthetic skin graft, but a
muscle transfer. It only happens abroad. And it costs a bomb.'
'How much?''Don't even talk about the full price. Ish wrote to every big hospital in the UK and
USA for subsidies. The best deal he has is from a hospital in UK, which has promised
us an operation for five lakhs. Of course, Ish never told me all this. That is all I could
hear from the thin plywood wall'
'You have the money?'
'Ish saved two lakhs in the past three years. I saved another three. Last week I went to
him with the money. I said let's pool our resources and get Ali operated. I said we
must act now as it takes nine months to get an appointment at that hospital anyway.
And then he...,' Govind's voice choked again.
'You ok?' I said.
Govind nodded. 'You know what he did? He refused to touch my money and wore
cricket gloves while handing the envelope back to me. In fact, he offered me his
cashbox and said he could give me money if I needed it to satisfy my greed. He said he
didn't want to get Ali operated with a dishonest man's money.'
Govind voice began to break. 'I am not dishonest. I'm selfish and have made mistakes,
but I'm not dishonest. And I don't only care about money. I care about Ali, too.'
I sat on his bed put my hand on his arm. He pulled it away.
'After three years of saving every rupee I could, Ish calls my labour dishonest. I can't
take it anymore. Dr Verma had given me pills as I had trouble sleeping at night. That
day I felt why not sleep once and for all. Maybe I had calculated life all wrong. It was
time to quit the equation.' He smiled feebly.
The doctor came to Govind's ward at 7 a.m. The chemicals from the pills had been
flushed out of Govind's system.
'I'd like the patient to sleep for six hours,' the doctor told me as he drew the curtains.
I left the room and went out. Govind's mother sat on a bench in the corridor. She
looked up, worried.
'He is fine, just needs some rest.' I sat next to her on the bench.
'Such a brave boy I had. What happened to him?' she sighed.
'He thought he was being brave,' I said. 'Does Ish know?'
She looked at me sideways. 'They don't talk.'
'Can you tell him what happened. Don't force him to come to the hospital,' I said.
Govind's mother nodded. We left the hospital together. She had sat in an auto when I
spoke again. 'By the way, do you know which college Vidya goes to in Bombay?'
'So many visitors? This is a hospital, not a club,' the nurse grumbled as she changed
Govind's bedsheets in the evening.
Govind's hospital room was bustling with people. Apart from the nurse, there were
Ish, Vidya, Govind's mother and I. We waited for Mr Sleepyhead to wake up from his
second nap of the day. A lot of people had lost sleep because of his sleeping pills.
Govind's eyelashes flickered and everyone moved closer to the bed.
'Ish? Vidya!' Govind blinked.'There are better ways to attract attention,' Vidya said. 'When did you come?'
Govind asked, quite forgetting the others.
'I left my marketing class halfway,' Vidya said. 'But that doesn't mean I forgive you
for not replying to me. Or for popping these pills. I never popped anything even when
I was most scared, you know when.'
'Your parents told you not to speak to me again. Ish wanted the same.'
'So?' Vidya removed her college bag from her shoulder and placed it on the bed.
'What did your heart want?'
Ish stood silent, looking at Govind. Govind's mother looked shocked, probably
dreading a firecracker of a daughter-in-law like Vidya someday.
'I am sorry, Ish. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I l... loved her,' Govind said.
Ish began to walk out of the room. Govind's mother went after him and pulled his
arm. She placed Ish's hand on Govind's.
'You don't have to listen to parents, but I do think you should be friends again,'
Govind's mother said.
Ish remained silent. Govind clasped Ish's hand. Govind's mother continued:
'Life will have many setbacks. People close to you will hurt you.
But you don't break it off. You don't hurt them more. You try to heal it. It is a
lesson not only you, but our country needs to learn.'
'Remember the kissing chimpanzees?' Govind called after him.
Ish stopped and looked back at Govind.
'Take the money for Ali. For me, it's no longer just for the money. But what the
money is for. Get Ali all right, it is important to me, too.'
Ish sniffed hard as he tried to resist tears.
'Can you forgive me, three times over?' Govind said.
Both Govind's and Ish's eyes turned moist.
'Aunty, isn't it strange that all the men in the ward are crying while the women
are like, so, together?' Vidya said.
Govind's mother looked horrified. Confident women make terrible daughters-in-
law.
I met Govind the next morning, right before I left for the airport. Govind was due
for discharge that evening.
"Thanks,' he said emotionally.
'For what?'
'For dropping by. I don't know how I will ever repay you...' 'Actually, there is a
way' Govind waited.
'Your story, it needs to be shared.' 'Like a book?'
'Yes, exactly a book. My third book. Will you help me?'
I don't know. I only like stories with happy endings,' he said.
'You have a pretty happy ending.'I don't know yet about Ali. We are going for the operation, but the success
probability is not hundred per cent. Fifty-fifty is what they told us.'
'You should have faith. Probability is best left to books,' I said.
He nodded.
'So I'll go back and we'll be in touch over email,' I said. 'Sure, we can work on it.
But do not release the story until we know about Ali. Ok? It may mean your effort
goes to waste,' he said. 'I agree,' I said and we shook hands.
I met Vidya at the hospital entrance as I left. She was wearing a green lehanga,
probably her most cheerful dress, to lift Govind's spirits. She carried a bouquet.
'Nice roses,' I said.
'Law Garden has the best ones. I miss Ahmedabad, can't wait for my course to be
over in six months,' she said.
'I thought you were a Bombay girl, trapped in the small city or whatever.'
'He told you everything? Like everything?' she, looked shocked. 'Pretty much.'
'Oh well, Bombay is nice, but my own is my own. Pao bhaji tastes much better in
Ahmedabad.'
I wanted to chat with her more, but had to leave. They had let me into their world,
but I couldn't overstay.

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